How To Play Basketball - according to my 5 year old son
Step 1. Be Prepared. Wear your uniform. Wear it over your clothes. Wear it at home. Wear it all weekend. Wear it to bed. You never know when the team may need you.
Step 2. Get the ball. Or wait patiently for someone to give you a turn. Either way is ok.
Step 3. Try to dribble. When the ball stops bouncing, pick it up with both hands and run.
Step 4. Shoot a basket. Take the ball with both hands (easy to do since that's part of step 3) and swing it between your legs. Stand under the basket and throw it into the air. The ball will enter the basket from the bottom. This is a technique that not even the pros use!
Step 5. Protect yourself. After making as basket, use your arms to cover your head. Duck and cower.
Step 6. Get Motivated. After the ball is safely in the hands of another player or coach and step 5 is complete, go to your mom and ask, "Did I do a good job?" She will always enthusiastically say "Yes!" Then get a hug and go back on the court.