Sunday, May 31, 2009

How Old?

My sister is visiting me. She lives in Virginia. She is the baby in the family, the youngest of 5 girls. I'm the second oldest. There are more than a few years difference between us. She's 20 and I'm... well... a little older than 20.

She was playing Guitar Hero with my 7 year old. He asked her, "Did you know that my mom used to like Guns N Roses when she was little?"

Do you know what my 20 year old little sister said?????

She said, "I didn't think Guns N Roses were that old."

I'm kicking her out now.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Problem Spots

This week a man came to my door trying to get me to sign up for yard service. He started out by saying that he works on other yards in the neighborhood and he noticed that my yard has a few "problem spots." He didn't get any further than that.

We do have a gardener who takes of the yard. Me. Ever since I stopped "working" I have been taking care of the yard and lawn. My husband does help occasionally on the weekends, but regular mowing, weeding, planting trimming etc, is all up to me. And I'll have you know that I work very hard for those "problem spots"! If the yard was perfect how would I ever be able to convince Mr. Cookie that my yard skills aren't good enough and that we should hire a professional gardener when we can afford it. I'm still holding out hope that one day that will happen.

So for now, you just leave those "problem spots" up to me. Thankyouverymuch.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Can You Keep a Secret?

My husband's birthday was yesterday. Last week I took the kids shopping to pick out a birthday present. They insisted that he wanted a water gun and some donuts. I had a feeling it might be the kids who wanted a water gun and some donuts. Just a hunch though.

We picked out a fishing net and a sleeping bag, both things that my husband had mentioned wanting. I reminded the kids to keep the present a secret. No one was supposed to tell daddy before his birthday. My kids have a history of revealing birthday presents early. They just can't wait to tell someone. But they assured me that they wouldn't tell daddy.

On Friday, my husband offered to take the kids fishing. They were both very excited. My 5 year old says, "Great! We can take the net." My 7 year old looks at me and smiles. Neither of us acknowledge the 5 year old's comment. My 5 year old says, "Come on. Don't you want to take the net?" Again, we ignore his comment. By now my husband has started to figure it out. My 5 year old continues, "You know, the net we bought at Fred Meyer yesterday."

I couldn't help but laugh. Yes, my husband figured out that the net was his birthday present and he got to open it a little early.

Friday, May 22, 2009

First Fish

Tonight we went fishing on Lake Washington.
My 5 year old caught his first fish ever. He was so proud!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Question From My 5 Year Old

Today driving home in the car my 5 year old says, "Mommy, when you get older, do you legs get fat?"

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I certainly hope he didn't start to wonder about that by looking at me! At least he didn't ask about bumpy cellulite!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009


My 7 year old is in first grade. For homework he is supposed to read one book each night. My 5 year old wants to do everything that his brother does. So tonight after dinner my 7 year old started reading out loud. My 5 year old picked up a book and joined him also out loud.

5 year old: Mom, what's I-T spell?

Me: It

5 year old: It is... Mom, what's N-L-G-H-T spell?

Me: N-L-G-H-T? That doesn't spell anything. You must mean N-I-G-H-T. That spells night.

5 year old: Night. Mom, what's P-E-R-C-Y spell?

Me: Percy.

5 year old: Percy is... Mom what does S-L-E-E-P-Y spell?

Me: Sleepy.

5 year old: Sleepy. What does H-E spell?

Me: He.

5 year old: He is... Mom, what does T-H-L-N-K-L--N-G spell?

Me: That isn't a word.

5 year old: T-H-L-N-K-L--N-G

Me: Oh, you must mean T-H-I-N-K-I-N-G. That spells thinking.

5 year old. Thinking... What's A-B-O-U-T spell?

This went on for the entire book... He's only 5. He starts kindergarten in the fall. I don't want to discourage him from reading or from trying to read, but it was very difficult to be patient. And mixing up the "L's" and "K's" made it more fun. Luckily my 7 year old managed to finish homework even with his brother reading along side.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Fed Up

I've been looking into refinancing my home mortgage lately. I did my homework and compared. I got 3 good faith estimates. My husband and I sat down and picked the best one.
For the last month I have been playing "phone tag" with the loan consultant. We picked her and now she hasn't called me back! Well she did call me back a few times and then I would call her back in return. So then we started emailing each other. I would send an email and let her know when I expected to be at home that day. She would email me back at the end of the day apologizing because something always came up at the time she was supposed to call. And I would reply with my schedule for the next day. That went on for the second week. She was sick the third week and not in the office. And the fourth week we went back to emailing and never talking.
I got fed up. I'm tired of waiting! Today I sent an email saying that since i haven't been to complete the application process in one month, could she forward my information to someone else in her office who can offer me the same rate and fees.
Do you know what response I got? An out-of-the-office auto reply.
So the game continues....

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Things I Learned This Week

I thought I would share a few of the many things I learned this week.

1. I cannot be trusted with leftover chocolate that did not fit into the molds needed to make chocolate pieces for my son's chess club end of the year party. Any melted chocolate left in the bowl after the mold is in the fridge will not be there in 5 minutes.

2. I cannot be trusted with any broken chocolate chess pieces. In theory these could all be re-melted and used again to make more chess pieces. But that theory has been proven wrong.

3. I learned how to do a two-foot turn while ice skating.

4. I learned that I cannot do a single-foot turn while ice skating without my butt hitting the ice.

5. I learned that new ice skates will cause blisters.

6. If you want to reserve a vacation house at a Washington state park, you need at least one year's notice. Or you can hire a hit-man so that one of the reservations will be cancelled. (I'm from New Jersey, so it's always an option.)

7. Kids will complain if you make reservations for a vacation house and the vacation isn't happening within the next 24 hours.

8. The easy-open wrappers on Kraft Bagelfuls aren't so easy to open.

9. Ketchup counts as a serving of fruit.

10. My kids eat a lot of fruit.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Two Sizes Too Fast

As many of you already know, my kids play baseball on local Little league teams. Baseball season starts at the end of March. So in March we had to buy new uniforms, cups, cleats etc...
In March my 7 year old wore a size 13 shoe. This week he told me those shoes were too small. I didn't believe him. I just bought the cleats in March. I helped him put on the cleats. Yup. They were too small.
I went to the laundry room and found a pair of size 1 cleats that a friend had given us. His foot wouldn't fit in. I loosened the laces and tried again. It was like trying to squeeze the wicked step-sister's foot into Cinderella's glass slipper. It was not going in.
March! I just bought him cleats in March. He can't possibly need new cleats now. I was hoping that he could at least make it through baseball season before I would have to buy new cleats. But the season is only halfway through.
Can he really grow 2 shoe sizes in less than 2 months?!

Friday, May 8, 2009

Happy Mother's Day

Slugs are a big problem in gardens around Seattle. Every year we have to put down slug killer to try and save our plants. Last year we lost many strawberries and tomatoes to the slimy slugs.

My kids found the first few slugs of spring yesterday. My 5 year old said, "Mom, we need to use the slug killer so they don't get into the strawberries."

"Yes, we do." I agreed.

My 5 year old thought for a moment and then said, "Maybe we can do that on Mother's Day."

Yup, just what I was hoping we could do to celebrate Mother's Day...

Hope you have slug-free plans this Mother's Day!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

What Day Is It?

Some of you may have noticed that I posted a "Wordless Wednesday" picture yesterday, which of course was Tuesday, not Wednesday. I like to think of myself as prepared, not confused. Ahem...

Today I picked up my 5 year old from preschool. He was carrying a hat that the teacher helped him to make out of newspaper today. He was very excited to show it to me. He put it on his head and smiled. I looked at it, then looked at it a little more closely. It was covered in obituaries. Perfect. It's very useful to have a 5 year old walking around with the obits on his head. You never know when you might need that info...

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Monday, May 4, 2009

The Doctor

On Thursday, I woke up covered with red itchy spots. No, it wasn't swine flu. I called my family doctor. They had no appointments available for that day. Someone was supposed to call me back. They did call back and I got an appointment for 4:30pm. I used some cortisone cream and spent the entire day scratching like crazy.

At 4:30 a nurse walks me to the exam room. She takes my weight (why are the doctors' scales always wrong?!) and blood pressure. She asks why I'm there. I start scratching again and showed her my legs. She cringed and tried to smile. She typed something into the computer. I think she wrote, "Patient has bad case of leprosy and probably swine flu. Very gross."

Then she asked, "Would you like a pap smear with that?"

What?! Is this like at McDonald's? I'll take a test for my rash, and a pap smear to go. Uh... "No, thanks."

The nurse continued, "How about a tetanus shot?"


"So just the rash?"


"Just"????? Just?! Maybe she didn't get a good enough look earlier.

A few minutes later the doctor doesn't come in. A resident came in. He took a look at the rash and said it's hives. I've never had hives before. I had no idea. It could be an allergic reaction. I had nothing new in the last day or two. So he suggested that maybe I'm now allergic to something I wasn't allergic to before. Great. Or sometimes stress can cause hives. So now I'm stressed that I might get stressed and get hives again. And about 50% of hives cases never find the cause. Even better. I can stay paranoid that I'll get hives again. Then the resident says something that surprises me, "Is there anything else I can do for you today?"

"Uh... No." As in NO pap smear or tetanus shots! Just get my skin back to normal! Why is everyone surprised that I only want normal, hive-free skin?!

The resident calls for the doctor and they talk about me like I'm not there. "32 year old female with hives who doesn't want a pap smear or a tetanus shot is complaining like a baby about itching from head to toe and may have swine flu."

"Excuse me. Hello! 32 year old female right here and still itchy."

Ok, so maybe I didn't say that. I took my prescription, went home and borrowed my son's eczema cream. Then I slept until Saturday. Friday is just a blur. I'm not even 100% sure it ever happened. My husband complained about having to deal with 2 baseball practices in one afternoon and then get dinner. That's my routine. But I don't remember any of it.

I'm all better now. Paranoid that the hives may return, but currently hive free. And no, I still don't want a pap smear or tetanus shot.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Dear Cashier

Dear Cashier at the grocery store last night,

I understand that being friendly is part of your job. But while I was waiting in line, something didn't seem quite right. The woman in front of me was purchasing one thing and one thing only, a pregnancy test. When a woman walks into the grocery store at 10pm and the only thing she is buying is a pregnancy test, she is not in the mood for small talk. When you look down and see the lonely pregnancy test on the conveyor belt, do not look up at her and smile and ask how she's doing tonight. I can tell you that she's not doing well. She also probably hates all men at this moment too. She does not want to discuss the weather or the big cinco de mayo sale on avocados. She wants to get out of there as quickly and discreetly as possible. You can just assume that yes, she wants it in a bag and she does not want you to say, "Thank You Ms. X" as you are so well trained to do.

Please remember this etiquette when a woman comes in purchasing a lonely box of tampons at 10pm also. Or a packages of vagisil. This may also apply to anyone buying preparation H at 10pm as well.


PS No, it wasn't me purchasing a pregnancy test. Thank Goodness!

Friday, May 1, 2009

Scooby Doo

My 7 year old plays baseball on a local Little League team. I've mentioned before that he has to wear a cup as part of his uniform. He still doesn't seem to understand the whole idea behind wearing it, but he will wear it reluctantly.

After his game this week, he got undressed and put all of the dirty clothes in the hamper (Yay!). I went in his room and found this. This is where he thinks he should keep his cup.

Since I couldn't think of a better place for it, the cup is still on display on Scooby's nose. At least scooby is now well protected against any stray balls. Scooby snack, anyone?