Thank You, Hallmark

Dear Hallmark,


Thank you so much for making the Pokemon valentines that my son picked out to give to his class for Valentine's day. I love that you only sent one package to the store so that my 2 boys could fight over them. It's great to have a 5 year old crying over valentine's in the store because there is only one box of Pokemon. The other shoppers really enjoyed that show.


And it was so nice of you to include stickers in the box. That was a great trick that you played on us! So clever to write "30 Valentines plus stickers." We actually thought that there were 30 valentines and 30 stickers. But nope. There were 30 valentines and 14 stickers. What a wonderful lesson in division. My son figured that we can cut each sticker in half to have enough for the entire class. Who would have thought that a box of valentines comes with a math lesson too?!


Once again, Thank you, Hallmark. I can't wait for next Valentine's Day.


Mom

I Think Therefore I'm Single

This morning I saw a pick up truck stopped at the light with a bumper sticker that said, "I think therefore I'm single." Now being married (for 12 years) I took a little offense to this. When the light turned green and my car moved forward, I could see the single driver of the pick up truck. He was picking his nose. Really picking his nose. Past the first knuckle and still going. It was so attractive. In my opinion, he might need to do a little more thinking about why he is still single.

I'm Full

I had this conversation with an acquaintance at a party on New Year's. So this has been stuck in my head for a while.

I was at my friend's house for a New Year's party. I poured myself a beverage (I'm sure it had alcohol, but I can't remember what it was!) and asked the lady standing next to me if she wanted something.

Me: Would you like a drink?

Her: No, I'm full.

Me: (blank stare)

Her: Well I was tired earlier and I knew that I was going to stay up late tonight at the party so I had a diet coke.

Me: (Still staring. Please tell me there is more to this story than a diet coke).

Her: Well I drank the whole can of diet coke and now I'm full. (She rubs her stomach and makes a pouty face.)

Me: I know what you mean. I had a diet coke yesterday and I still feel like I'm going to explode. What do they put in those things anyway? I don't think I can eat another thing until next Tuesday! (Ok, so maybe I didn't say that. Maybe I just gave another blank stare in response.)

The "D" Word

My husband and I took our 2 boys ages 5 and 6 out to dinner this week. When we had finished eating, the waitress came by and asked if we needed any boxes. Then she looked at the kids and said, "Should I mention the 'D' word?"



I asked the waitress to give us a few more minutes. She left and I asked my husband what he thought, meaning should we offer the kids dessert or not. My husband understood and said, "sure, the kids can have it."



My 6 year old turned to me and said, "Mommy, I know what the 'D' word is."



"You do? What is it?" I asked.



"Done!"

Give 'em an Inch!

My kids love to watch America's Funniest Home Videos on Sunday nights. Tonight there was a video with a motorcycle. The motorcycle was a road that had a speed limit sign for 70 km per hour. My husband said, "that must be filmed in Europe."

"How do you know?" my 6 year old asked.

"Because the speed limit was in kilometers. We don't use kilometers here do we? What do we use?"

My 6 year old replied proudly, "We use inches!"

I couldn't help but laugh. Yes, I can't tell you how many speed limit signs I've driven by that are in inches per hour.

Lobbying

My 5 year old asked me, "Mom, what does lobby mean?"

"It can mean two different things," I said. "A lobby can be a room by the entrance like a hotel lobby or it can mean trying to get someone to do something. Like with the government."

I realized that my explanation made no sense to him when he said, "So does the government work in the hotel?"

Clear as mud.

Christmas in January

A friend gave me a Poinsettia plant on Thanksgiving. It was beautiful. It sat in the middle of the Christmas decorations all December long.

Now it's sitting on a small table in front of a window by the front door. Now the Christmas season is long past. The plant is still there. I still water it. This plant has outlived many other plants that have previously been in my care. But now I want to get rid of it. I put away all of the other Christmas decorations. But this is more than just a decoration that can be put away in a box and taken out next year. This is a plant. A living thing. I hate to throw it away just because I'm done with it. But I hate having it around too. Maybe I should stop watering it so it will die and then I can throw it out (in the garden recycling of course). But that would be the same as getting rid of it now while it's still alive.

Why don't poinsettias come with an expiration date? So that January 2nd it's ok to get rid of them. That could get rid of this guilt!

What does everyone do with poinsettias after Christmas? Is there a poinsettia orphanage somewhere waiting to take these unwanted homeless plants in?

For now the plant will stay on the small table by the front door. But please don't snicker when you arrive at my house and notice that I still have Christmas "decorations" up.

Crime Rates are Going Up

The counterfeiter in my house is back at it again. (In case you missed it earlier, here's the link.) Today he made a $10 bill.

I added the pen to the picture so you could get a better idea of just how real this $10 bill is. It's amazing what kids make at preschool these days.

Oh, my son also made this at preschool today.

I asked my son what it is. He picked it up by the cardboard tube and said, "It's a handle" very matter-of-factly.

Kids Say the Nicest Things

I was laying down on the couch today. My 6 year old came up to me and said, "Mom, are you a bed head?"

I didn't know how to answer that. I replied, "No?"

"Yes, you are."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"When you lay down on the couch like that your hair looks like grandma's."

I didn't have a reply for that. But I did get up from the couch. I still don't understand but I don't think it was a compliment.

Tattle Tale

Earlier this week I went to my class. That meant I wasn't home at bedtime. The next morning my 6 year old was anxious to tell on daddy. "Daddy let us stay up late last night. We didn't go to bed at 8:00 like we were supposed to!"

"Oh really? What time did you go to bed?"

"8:01" he said with a big smile on his face. What is it with first graders and tattle taling???

A Life of Crime

Can you guess what this is a picture of? I'll give you a hint. My 5 year old made this at preschool today.

Answer: It's a 5 dollar bill on top and a 1 dollar bill on the bottom.

He told me that he made some money so he can go to the store and buy more Pokemon cards. I'm afraid he might be destined for a life of crime.

What is a Package?

I needed to get some poster board for my son's cub scout den project. I decided to go to Target yesterday. I had some coupons for $0.75 off any one kraft cheese. Target sells the string individually for $0.55 so it would be free with the coupon. I have 10 coupons. I get 10 packages of cheese and the poster board and some construction paper.

The cashier rings everything up. She counts the packages of cheese, enters "9" and scans one. The register shows that I bought 9. I say, "Oh, I thought I got 10 of those." She takes them out of the bag and re-counts. "Nope, there's 9 here. Do you want to go back and get one more?" I don't want to hold up the line. "That's Ok, I'll get it next time." So I remove one of my coupons from the pile and hand her 9 coupons for $0.75 off one kraft cheese.

She scans the first coupon and it beeps. It beeps because the coupon is more than the price of the cheese and the computer is prompting the cashier to enter the correct value, which in this case would be $0.55. But the cashier does not seem to know that. She looks at me and says, "This coupon is only good for the packages of cheese. You bought the small ones." I show her where it says, "any package." There is no size specified. Usually they say something like, "any kraft cheese 6 oz or larger." But this coupon didn't. It's good on "any package of cheese."

"I don't think this coupon is good on this. You didn't get a package."

Really? It looked like the cheese was in a package when I put it in my cart! I didn't take it out of the package. I tell her, "Usually they adjust the price of the coupon down the $0.55 since that's how much the cheese costs."

She decides to take the coupon and says, "I hope I don't get in trouble for this."

I go to the car and check my bag. I take out all of the cheese. I count 10 packages. I'm not worried about her getting in trouble for the coupons (I've checked the Target coupon policy). I'm worried that she's going to get in trouble for not being able to count to 10.

How To Play Basketball

How To Play Basketball - according to my 5 year old son

Step 1. Be Prepared. Wear your uniform. Wear it over your clothes. Wear it at home. Wear it all weekend. Wear it to bed. You never know when the team may need you.

Step 2. Get the ball. Or wait patiently for someone to give you a turn. Either way is ok.

Step 3. Try to dribble. When the ball stops bouncing, pick it up with both hands and run.

Step 4. Shoot a basket. Take the ball with both hands (easy to do since that's part of step 3) and swing it between your legs. Stand under the basket and throw it into the air. The ball will enter the basket from the bottom. This is a technique that not even the pros use!

Step 5. Protect yourself. After making as basket, use your arms to cover your head. Duck and cower.

Step 6. Get Motivated. After the ball is safely in the hands of another player or coach and step 5 is complete, go to your mom and ask, "Did I do a good job?" She will always enthusiastically say "Yes!" Then get a hug and go back on the court.

My "Helper"

This morning I was getting ready to take the recycling to the container in the garage. I had to go in the garage anyway to get the wreath for the front door so I could finally take down the Christmas wreath. Then all of the Christmas decorations will be completely gone.

My 5 year old saw me with my armload of paper and bottles heading out to the garage. He stopped me, "Mom, I want to do it." Now I'm sure some of you are asking, "why would a 5 year old want to take out the recycling?" Or maybe you are thinking, "Why would anyone want to do such a mundane chore?!"

My kids have a chore chart. They can earn money for doing chores. They don't actually get to keep the money. It's more like a credit. The money goes on their chart and when we're shopping and they want to buy something, I deduct it from their chart. We started this a few months ago and it seems to be working so far. But sometimes it backfires, like today.

I let my 5 year old "help" me with the recycling. It was a little too much for him to carry. So I carried 2 of the bottles. I followed him to the garage. He needed me to open the door. I opened the door for him. I followed him to the recycling container. He couldn't open the lid. I opened the lid for him. I put the 2 bottles in that I was carrying. He dropped his on the floor. So I helped pick them up. I know at this age, it's more the idea of having kids help with the chores, but today I really wished that I didn't get any "help."

Bzz

I signed up a while ago to be a Bzz Agent. Once you are a member you can fill out surveys and based on that information you are eligible for various campaigns. They send you a product in the mail and often samples or coupons for that product. You get to use that product and tell everyone about it and hand out samples and coupons. That's the fun part. There is some homework involved. You have to write reports letting the people at Bzz Agent know who you talked to and their reaction. It's not very hard. If you skip that step, don't expect to get invited to any more campaigns! Oh, and you get points for answering surveys and for your reports. When you accumulate enough points, you can select a giftcard. (I'll post links at the end if you are interested in joining).

So this week I received my last campaign for Cover Girl Outlast Lipstain. This isn't even available in all of the stores yet! It looks and feels more like a marker than a lipstick. Here is a before picture of my beautiful smile (if I do say so myself!).

Here is a picture of my beautiful smile immediately after applying the lipstain.

It's a nice color! And gives some shine too!

Below is the final picture of my beautiful smile after wearing the lipstain for about one hour.

As you can see there is still some color left. I do like this lipstain for a few reasons. It doesn't come off on your glass or cup (or kissing your kids or hubby). And it is light-weight. It doesn't feel gloppy like regular lipsticks.

So if you are looking for something new in your lipstick, why not try CoverGirl Outlast Lipstain. It is sold at Walmart, Walgreens and other places that sell CoverGirl products. That's a lot cheaper than department store prices!

If you are interested in becoming a Bzz Agent (and I highly recommend it). Here is the link to the website. And don't forget to use me as a referral. My email is coolcookie_789@yahoo.com

Also, to sign up for the points, you need a MyPoints Account. Their website is here and again, feel free to use my email as a referral.

Now back to your regularly scheduled Cookie Jar Blog :)

Oh Nothing

My son went on a field trip with his first grade class. They went to see a play of The Wizard of Oz in Seattle. My friend was one of the chaperones. I met her at the bus stop as we waited for the school bus. I asked her how the field trip went today. She told me that everything went well until the ride home. The bus had to pull over on the side of highway. She was sitting in the back and had no idea what was wrong. Then she noticed some moms in the middle of the bus starting to get up and move kids around. She discovered that a child had thrown up on the bus. I'm so glad that I didn't go on this field trip! I'm one of those people who will puke as soon as someone else pukes. I'm just a copy cat that way!

Knowing about the bus incident, I asked my son, "How was the field trip today?"

"Fine."

I tried to probe a little more. "How was the bus ride?"

"Fine."

"Fine?! Were you on the same bus as the rest of the first graders?!" I didn't actually say that. Instead I pushed a little more, "Who did you sit next to on the bus?"

"I sat by myself."

My 5 year old who had been waiting at the bus stop with me and overheard my friend tell me about the puking blurted out, "Who threw up on the bus?"

"Oh that was Nick."

He said it so nonchalantly as if it was "Oh Nothing."

Then he asked if I had ever seen the Wizard of Oz. I told him that I had and he didn't believe me. What was his reasoning for not believing me? I wasn't on the field trip today! He was very anxious to tell me all about how someone hid behind a curtain and pretended to be a wizard! So cute!

150?!

Both of my boys play basketball at the local YMCA. The 6 year old has practice in the gym on Tuesdays from 4-5. The younger one has practice on Tuesday from 5-6. So we're at the YMCA for 2 hours every Tuesday.

There is a small running track above the gym. The middle of the track is open so you can see the gym below. So I took my 5 year old upstairs to walk and run a little while waiting for his brother. After going around the track a few times, he wanted to try out the machines in the corner.

I got on a StairMaster. I selected a workout (fat burning). The machine showed "20 minutes" on the screen. I pressed "OK." Then the machine showed "weight=150 pounds" on the screen. I'm only 5'2"! I didn't eat that many cookies during Christmas! I was shocked. I almost threw my body to cover that screen so no one else could see and snicker!

Then my 5 year old got on the machine next to me. His screen also said "weight=150 pounds." Whew! Glad I'm not the only one who enjoyed a few too many cookies ;)

A Few Decorating Tips

In the new year, lots of people like to try new things. We rearrange furniture, move pictures on the wall and do our best to make things fresh and new around the house. I thought it would be nice to watch movies on the TV in my bedroom. So I asked my husband what we needed to do to be able to watch movies upstairs. After thinking for a couple of minutes he decided that we could move an old media player upstairs and hook it up the TV in the bedroom. This was about one week ago. Here is a picture of the media player in my bedroom.

Please note that is not hooked up to a TV. That is simply sitting on the dresser. It brought a few friends, the remote and some cables, to keep it company. It has been there so long that my husband has started using it as a place to put his clothes. I know you are all jealous and wish you had thought of this new decorating trend. Feel free to try it in your homes.

Next, is a lovely picture of my microwave.

Does anyone notice anything unusual about my microwave, besides the fact that is very old. How about the background? This microwave is no longer in the kitchen. My husband moved it to the living room last night. Again, I know you are all very jealous. Everyone wishes they had been the first to think of moving the microwave to such an innovative place!

To be honest, I can somewhat understand why he moved it. We had a small fire in the kitchen last night. Actually in an outlet in the kitchen. I smelled something burning. My husband didn't believe me. Then I saw smoke coming out of an outlet! So he spent the next 2 hours or so taking everything apart and moving appliances to different parts of the house. He'll have to re-wire the kitchen circuits. But he won't have time to do that until the weekend. So he assures me that the microwave will be out of the living room by this weekend. Knowing his track record for things like this, I doubt it. I am sure that as soon as Martha Stewart finds out about my modern decorating style, she'll be calling me up for an interview. But for now, only my few blog readers will know about this ground-breaking cookie decorating style ;)

Strange Things are Happening

I'm very surprised that the Chargers beat the Colts. But I'm happy, because should my Eagles eventually play those Chargers, I think the Eagles have a better chance of winning than if they had to play the Colts ;)

Oh, and tonight, Saturday night, at 9:05 pm a UPS truck drove into my cul de sac and turned around. WTH?? And the driver didn't even have a package for me!

Strange things are happening.

How Fast Are You?

I found this website www.typingtest.com where you can find out your typing speed. I'm 48 words per minute. How fast are you?

Let's Try This Again

Happy New Year! Again. Yes, I know I wrote that yesterday, but it didn't work. So I'm trying it again.

Last night I got a call from my parents. My youngest sister was admitted to the hospital yesterday. She was diagnosed with diabetes this week and had some kind of complication. I talked to my sister and she said she is feeling fine. I think she is not telling me something. I'm sure doctors don't just keep you at the hospital for the fun of it.

This morning I woke up and got dressed. When I sat down at the table for lunch, I realized that I was missing an earring. An earring given to me by my mother-in-law. A somewhat expensive earring from Japan. I hadn't worn it in a while and I thought what better day than New Year's to wear something nice. Now it's gone. I've searched on and off all day. I think I may have dropped it down the bathroom sink.

I talked to another sister today. Her husband's aunt died yesterday. At age 38. Very sad.

So much for Happy New Year.