I've written "Not Me" posts in the past. These are posts where I list all of things that I haven't done and would never do. For example:
1. I didn't leave my cell phone on while I was volunteering in my son's kindergarten class. And it didn't disrupt the class by ringing during reading time. Then I didn't fumble with the buttons so that I accidentally answered the call (instead of silencing) and then immediately hang up on my friend. Then my friend didn't call back and the ringing didn't disrupt the class again. And when she left a message, my phone didn't start chirping to let me know that I had a message waiting because I had "missed" a call.
2. I didn't return my friend's call and leave her message and then have my bluetooth accidentally dial her number 3 more times. And then I didn't immediately hang up so that my friend doesn't have 1 message and 3 missed calls all from me. (So sorry about that!)
3. I didn't write "Please sit under the chair" on my Japanese quiz this week.
4. I didn't buy 36 boxes of oatmeal at the store this week. (It was a good sale!)
5. I didn't stay up late watching a movie instead of studying for my Japanese quiz earlier this week and that doesn't explain #3.
6. After painting all day, I didn't consider even for a second my kids' attempt to get me to serve ice cream for dinner.
7. I didn't go a week without writing in my blog. Real bloggers never do that.
8. I didn't dip my hair into a can of white paint while painting the window trim.
9. I didn't drive 20 miles to Krispy Kreme for a box of donuts. Two weeks in a row.
10. I didn't wait until 12:30 to take a shower when I was scheduled to volunteer in my son's classroom at 1pm.
11. I didn't take my son to the wrong ice skating rink to go ice skating with his cub scout den.
These are all things that I would never do.