Who's Laughing Now?

I feel so old. I feel like I'm always at the doctor's office. I hate it. Most of you remember that I hurt my back this fall and had spine surgery in December. It's been 6 months and now I'm better. But I put off a lot of things during that time. Last month I caught up on some dental work that I needed. This morning I went to my annual OBGYN appointment.

At the dentist I get to sit back in a chair and watch TV and enjoy some nitrous. It never makes me laugh, but I enjoy it.

At the OBGYN, I have to strip down to a paper towel, lay on a cold table and stare at a Nemo picture taped to the ceiling. This is when I could really use that nitrous!

The doctor walked in and started with small talk and chatted about my history. When she started the physical exam, I was so tense. Who enjoys this?? It is definitely easier having my teeth poked at than having my WhoHa poked at. And have you seen the size of the needles the dentist uses?? That's nothing compared to the size of the speculum! And then comes the scrape, scrape, scrape. I get stressed just thinking about it.

At least it's over for this year. Next year I'm going to search for an OBGYN that has nitrous.

Would You Rather...

The other day my kids had a friend over and I heard them talking. My 8 year old asked his friend, "Would you rather kiss a girl in public or eat fly?"

His little brother and their friend were laughing uncontrollably at this idea.

The friend finally replied with absolute certainty, "Eat a fly! If I kissed a girl in public it would be all over twitter and facebook."

Horrific to even think about.

My Perfect World

In my perfect world...

Spatulas would not melt when resting on a frying pan.

Both kids would have soccer practice at the same time on the same field on the same days.

Chocolate would not have calories. or fat. or sugar. or caffeine. It would be like celery.

$40 kids shoes from Nike would last more than 2 months.

My car would always pass inspection on the first time. Or at least the second.

If someone steals your mailbox, they would have to pay the bills that are in it.

Schools would have one winter break, not early winter break, midwinter break, and end of winter break. Only to be followed by spring break.

Furniture shopping would be easy. and affordable.

The guy working at the front desk at the gym would not change the channel when Regis and Kelly comes on.

That would be my perfect world. At least for this week! How about you?

Getting Organized

I saw an article in a magazine recently with suggestions for organizing your closet. The article suggested that you put your jeans into different piles and then label each one. There was a picture of 4 piles of neatly folded jeans. Under the first one it said, "Skinny." The second was "Flare." The third was something like "Cargo." And I can't remember what the last one was. And I thought, "who has that many jeans??"

Here are the categories that I thought would be more useful:

Used to fit me 5 pounds ago Skinny Jeans

Jeans that show my undies when I sit down

Jeans that have holes

Jeans that have stains

Jeans that I actually wear

One lonely pair of jeans that actually get worn. And that's only on my "dress up" days.