Can You Guess??

What do these things have in common:

A huge card box for a TV

A garden hose

My 9 year old's homework binder

A side table

4 pencils

Any guesses???

No, they aren't things on my son's list of class supplies he needs for this year. But that was just as absurd.

If you lived in my neighborhood and looked out your window this week, those are all things that you would have seen me carrying up the sidewalk. Not all out once of course. That would be ridiculous. In 2 separate trips. On 2 separate days. Why? Because those are things that my kids took out of our house and brought to neighbors house to use in their yards.

It almost makes me look forward to the rain that should be coming soon.

What I Like About You

My boys have been fighting. A lot. I could say they have been fighting since school got out but that wouldn't be true. I think they started fighting when the younger one was old enough to spit.

Almost everyday I have to be the referee. I'm tired of it. I told the boys that they should respect and love each other. I sat them down and asked them to compliment each other, to tell their brother something they like about him.

My 9 year old started. He said, "I like that you're not in the way too much."

We were off to a great start.

My 7 year old said, "I like your nose."

That went well.

A Home Run

The other night we decided to take the kids to play tennis after dinner. My boys are ages 7 and 9. This was their first time on a tennis court. They had been asking for a while to go so we thought we would give it a try.

The ball was all over all 6 courts.

Everywhere.

My 7 year old hit the ball really hard and it went out of the court. He smiled and said, "I hit a home run."

"There aren't home runs in tennis, honey."

"But mom, it went over the fence."

"Yes it did."

One nice thing did happen. We started out with two tennis balls and ended up with 4 when we left. How funny.

What Does It Mean?

My 7 year old stumbled over the word, "microclimate" tonight while doing his homework. I asked him if he knew what a climate was. He did not. So I asked his older brother who was sitting next to us if he knew what climate meant.

He said, "You know when you go up a mountain. You climb it."

I tried not to laugh.

Too cute.

Why?

Why is it that whenever I need large potatoes to cook with, the bag is filled with small ones. And today I needed 3 small potatoes and there were only large potatoes in the bag. Why???















It must be a conspiracy!

Spring Break Lingo

My kid were off from school this past week for spring break. Spring, however, never got the memo and failed to show up. We made the best of things indoors most of the time and had some great conversations. My 7 year old asked me, "Mom, if you're dad is in the army, does that make you a veterinarian?" I didn't mean to laugh. I just didn't know where to begin. While my 7 year old and 9 year old were playing a game on their Nintendo DSi's, I heard one say, "I just caught this Pokemon who looks like Lady Gaga!" Another proud parent moment for me. My 9 year old had a friend over and they were discussing the subject of jumping on a trampoline at another friend's house. My son's friend said, "My mom can't jump on trampolines. She pees herself a little when she does." Poor lady! and TMI! Spring break is officially over. Tomorrow they can have more great conversations at school.

Who's Laughing Now?

I feel so old. I feel like I'm always at the doctor's office. I hate it. Most of you remember that I hurt my back this fall and had spine surgery in December. It's been 6 months and now I'm better. But I put off a lot of things during that time. Last month I caught up on some dental work that I needed. This morning I went to my annual OBGYN appointment.

At the dentist I get to sit back in a chair and watch TV and enjoy some nitrous. It never makes me laugh, but I enjoy it.

At the OBGYN, I have to strip down to a paper towel, lay on a cold table and stare at a Nemo picture taped to the ceiling. This is when I could really use that nitrous!

The doctor walked in and started with small talk and chatted about my history. When she started the physical exam, I was so tense. Who enjoys this?? It is definitely easier having my teeth poked at than having my WhoHa poked at. And have you seen the size of the needles the dentist uses?? That's nothing compared to the size of the speculum! And then comes the scrape, scrape, scrape. I get stressed just thinking about it.

At least it's over for this year. Next year I'm going to search for an OBGYN that has nitrous.

Would You Rather...

The other day my kids had a friend over and I heard them talking. My 8 year old asked his friend, "Would you rather kiss a girl in public or eat fly?"

His little brother and their friend were laughing uncontrollably at this idea.

The friend finally replied with absolute certainty, "Eat a fly! If I kissed a girl in public it would be all over twitter and facebook."

Horrific to even think about.

My Perfect World

In my perfect world...

Spatulas would not melt when resting on a frying pan.

Both kids would have soccer practice at the same time on the same field on the same days.

Chocolate would not have calories. or fat. or sugar. or caffeine. It would be like celery.

$40 kids shoes from Nike would last more than 2 months.

My car would always pass inspection on the first time. Or at least the second.

If someone steals your mailbox, they would have to pay the bills that are in it.

Schools would have one winter break, not early winter break, midwinter break, and end of winter break. Only to be followed by spring break.

Furniture shopping would be easy. and affordable.

The guy working at the front desk at the gym would not change the channel when Regis and Kelly comes on.

That would be my perfect world. At least for this week! How about you?

Getting Organized

I saw an article in a magazine recently with suggestions for organizing your closet. The article suggested that you put your jeans into different piles and then label each one. There was a picture of 4 piles of neatly folded jeans. Under the first one it said, "Skinny." The second was "Flare." The third was something like "Cargo." And I can't remember what the last one was. And I thought, "who has that many jeans??"

Here are the categories that I thought would be more useful:

Used to fit me 5 pounds ago Skinny Jeans

Jeans that show my undies when I sit down

Jeans that have holes

Jeans that have stains

Jeans that I actually wear

One lonely pair of jeans that actually get worn. And that's only on my "dress up" days.